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not in a good mood, tried to be kinder to maine in the sms, when she kept pressuring me. tried to be kinder to her, instead i cut my father off, now i feel bad. i feel like tearing up myself cause i got hurt by her words, i did not say anything, refuse to say and succeed in pushing my words back into my throat. i have been really busy, too many things happen to me, i refuse to speak up and now very thing seems to diffucult or stress to me. i felt like crying which i have not been like million years. people probably think why don't you speak up, i rather jump to death then say, i could never say it out, i don't have the courage. i feel really emotionally over loaded, if i say too much or cry too much people will say something about me, which i am damn fucking sensitive about it. people will probably think i am just one of the happy go lucky, thick skin girl, yeah right, like i do not cry like that. very very tired, very very stress, dying soon, i don't feel like meeting main tomorow cause i am afraid i will suddenly break up with out explaing why am i crying suddenly. i felt like dying. emotion tangle , feel like puking my dinner out now, and i have more stuff to handle.
everything feels as if it is my fault, no it is my fault that i did not check the address properly. i really feel stress
