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:D sugar rushhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hi fuckers!
我应该笑我自己傻呢？还是笑我自己笨呢？我似乎好像失去了我自己，我是真的在笑呢，还是假的呢？我不能失控我的情趣，笑似乎成了我的习惯。哭？ 我不会在被人面前哭了，我发誓我再也不会这样了。那时是最后一次了，我不会再哭了。
okay i take back my words for scolding them, they are good people, they do not hurt others physically but abit on the mental sides. :D i won't say sorry, but all i can do is just take my words back:D see, how soft hearted am i.
the maggie mee is delicious :S
not angry at them not angry at them. i am not angry haha! just upset that they say what i am not. she's right, i am not to cry over such matters. but crying do comfort me. haha i am not angry at them but just feel a distance between them. so much for bonding haha. today is fun. we play games, no one is angry, angry people makes me stress. haha yes i am that sensitive. people who are angry makes me stress. i can't see people angry, unless i can some how read what they are thinking:D haha my maggie mee is cooked:D i am all ready to eat so bye bye~
the more scarier i think the more scarier i am. i did not know that my imagination can be my source of movement
Someone posted a positive comment about me, but preferred to remain anonymous. He was afraid of being accused of boot licking.I have a way to overcome this fear.I like to find positive things to say about other people. I am just being decent and encouraging. I am not boot licking.We need to promote a climate of positiveness. We have to find positive things to say about other people. We have to create an optimistic climate.I encourage other people to think positive, and be positive.
i got that some where from the net. may be people just like using me then accused me of being one boot licker. hooray, push all the blame to me after you use me just like the rest cause you know i won't get angry. my,oh,my i do get scary , but i choose not to show it. to get the peace in the class i don't see the need to flare up just because some people accused me. neither i don't see the need to find fault in other people saying me. why should i, waste of my time. still i am being decent and encouraging, i don't have a reason not to help other in small favours. i am just being me, i did not do what i don't like to do. yeah and it's true. by the way this thing taught me that being too good sucks cause other people will see you as a boot licker, right? well, the people who say it seriously about me being boot licker obviously do not know me well.
by the way i make it clear that vivien treated me way better than you guys think, i donnot lick her butt. so thanks for your fucking comments :D
but something occured to me that there are friends who are way nicer to me are not accused of a boot licker, i guess i am plain easy to use huh? so do i get the money i deserved or may be i don't get the money because i come IN FREE, whoo. i DO NOT KNOW THAT MY SMALL FAVOURS ARE FREE! SO WHAT NOW? YOU DOG? fuck.
i feel instantly better.
sometime i just wish i can get a mental illness
had school today, boring tired but not sleepy, later i have to head down to the pool to do CPR lessons. aw.. great. i dare not miss one lesson cause later bob will "kill" me. my shoulders still hurt, i did not take any pictures recently, cause i am super busy. Mr. low told me to call my mum cause i did not attend the physic remediation on this Monday, i thought it was chemistry, so i skip, who know it was physic, hooray. mum sort of nag at me, but i just laugh it away. she told me not to let this happened again, i swear i won't, i think. tired.
she told me not to worry.
i ask what.
everything, she said, everything you have been worrying for.
how?
she smiled, not giving me an answer, took my hand and lead me on,that instance i felt my mind was clearer than before, like a fog or mist vanish. my heart set free, i left like i am floating, everything and everyone was forgotten, all i saw was nothing. nothing at all.
fuck all the way you want and get lost, don't come back to me. yes i am in moodless condition. feel the fucking love of your friends if they need you help then they throw you away, yes enjoy the taste of being use up and throw away like nothing, satisfying huh? if you would like to tryin it go ahead, feel free to try and use me, ofcourse i would argree, i agree almost anything would i? accompany you? yes. help me do this and that? yes. lend me this and that? yes. i agree almost anything, fuck you. i can almost regect you and ask you to go hell. or i could just keep the stupid clam relationship we have here do we? in the end you left me alone to fend for myself, so much for helping you when you left me behind. behind behind behind, again and again.
each set of pictures are shoot in the different days, they are not perfect and that's what i like about them:D there is a mini story while i shoot the last set of pictures with a feather like substance:D shall not tell you
you imperfection causes me and the others in pain, embarrassment and shitless surprises thank you but no thanks.
random i think, okay i am be a bit slow like 24hours slow but still i feel the guilt for not wishing Rande a major happy birthday wish
so here it goes...
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY RANDE :D
at last no more guilt, really sorry rande:D hope you forgive me.
any way school as usual, i got sort of torture in the front every english lesson, this time is the worst, she "fought" with me to look at my sentence, lame but funny. maths yes the again again, it sort of slip out of my mouth, shit, and that cause the clas to roar with laughter. okay not roar , but still it was pretty embarrassing.
i do not really notice LG phones but this tiem i can't wait to get my hands on the LG lollipop phone, cute and stylish:D i can spent $400 for it and i don't mind:D
shall upload my pictures tomorrow, my mum is being a bother by looking over my head out of the blue again and again. (again and again and again)
if that's the way you think will help you to solve yours life matters think again stupid. emoing is not going to help, neither can i , i am just one listening ear that's all, i am not you niether him nor her. too bad but at least i can help you to solve if you need help.
i went back against my words, i help them , stupid me, soft hearted me, what a joker
yes, today is a cold, long and loney day for me. but the best present i have is that my bill is less than 25 dollars:D whoo! yeah yeah , i still feel so fuck up. guess what i plan to get my revenge on the people who sort of use me by not helping them any more! yes, it sounded to stupid that you will laughout with tears and snort running down your face, but still that is the best i can do.
i really hope i pass my chem test, which is tomorrow on monday. chating with kris online now, her curser in her blog is really fun. bu ti hate it in my blog:D haha!
i find this the most beautiful thing just the moment i look out of the window.
any way i just pop two pimples, it's fun:D and disgusting for you i think
i feel so fuck
i am really scared shitless, i do not know why. i get fucking gratitude from people. thanks a lot for knowing that WHEN YOU NEED HELP I AM THERE BUT WHEN YOU NOTICE THAT I HELPED YOU SOLVE YOUR PROBLEM YOU ARE RUNNING AWAY FROM SOMEWHERE ELSE LEAVING ME ALONE thanks just thanks a lot. i should not have help you in the first place if knowing that you are just going to find better friends then me because I AM JUST ONE OF YOUR STEPPING STONES TOWARDS FINDING ANOTHER GREATER FRIEND. i am in a really bad mood and thanks to the long weekend i get to cool down abit so that i won't flare up like an idiot in school.
i will lose a friend and soon i will be alnoe again and again repeatedly just because i am just another stepping stone for everyone right huh. when you need help go find other people not me any more cause I WON'T HELP YOU AGAIN! i won't be cheated by you, i won't be another stone for you to use and kick away. thanks to you, i am the only one feeling that i am going to lose a freind again. fuck to you hellers
tell me why do i have to be so brutally blunt when it comes to nervous, over sensitive and probably craziness over powering me. why do i have to be so straight forward but not meaning it in the way time to other people. i am so sorry. i do not have the mood to care what is going on around me, happening on me. i feel lifeless. everything seems too fast forward for me to catch up.i really need a break from everyone. now i am having a headache, i don't feel like caring my homework but i am force to do it. why do things have to turn out this way. it seems as if i have know something unacceptable in my heart, as if i have not yet accept that i have been disliking her, probably jealous over her. what's the use, she has her own imperfection that i have better then her and she has more perfect compared to mine. what's the fuss about? i really need to get a grip, i must make myself spin with the world along and catch up.
i am counting to the days on how long can i survive the wonderful world of disastrous, i am really breaking into million pieces
"let alone everything" who has any idea what that means? haha wai hian sms me and made me feel so discourageeeee...
LOL! anyway, i don't hate the person from the previous post, i was in a moment of loss, anger, fed up. i want to help that person but i am just waiting for her to open up, if she wantsss..:D i hope. ahaha may be i will go and meet wai hian later.
hope that vivien cured her back achhhheeee;D
stop being a frequent attitude changer all the time, 24 hours. Stop being a princess, this is the real world that is your fake world with full of protection. It's not that no one understands you, you just don't understand yourself, talk about opposite. Stop thinking that you have the worst love life and all your boyfriends are the bad guys and you are the victims. Stop lying to guys that you liked someone for one and a half years, you still have the cheek to say after having a couple of boyfriends within the period of time. Stop saying that you have the worst parents, i have stricter ones and i still love them. Stop saying that people "ignore" you, i am being "ignored" all the time and i still don't mind cause I THINK MUCH MORE POSITIVELY THAN YOU, that i know all my friends love me no matter what. Stop shouting at them for no reasons just because they "ignore" you . Stop embarrassing her in the public, you are not the only one who can't hear properly when it comes to concentrating. Stop saying you have pains all over your body when someone gently touch you, my shoulders hurt when you hit it today, you hit harder than i. I did not complain. Stop say all the thick-skin. Read my words i don't care, neither you aren't that pretty. Stop being a wonderful act. Stop being to insensitive. Iused to be insensitive but i am now a better person than you and i can prove to you that other people will say i am better than you in character. Stop lying to us all the time, i had a hard time guessing which one is true or not. Stop correcting me like you know everything, even if you did, i don't care. Stop saying things that i did not say before. Stop saying sorry if you are not willing to change at all. Stop saying that you will change but you did not. Stop all the things you will change or not but it did not happen, it disappointed me. Stop saying all the nonsensical stuff when you did not even made the effort.
truly i am disappointed by your words action and everything, you know i love you as a friend but somethings don't change when you don't make the effort. this is for your own good.
i feel that i am lacking of inspirations for art, i feel that i could not concentrate anything at all, i can't think of anything to write for my compo, i feel empty. something is seriously wrong with me. i need help, wait, i don't need help i need a doctor to cure my mental illness. my hands are shaking like mad exactly like the full whole hour at geog period. i probably won't help Vivi to massage for a few days cause my hands are in a weak state. my hands shake like i am high, my heartbeat beats faster than normal humans, i get cold and hot repeatedly again and again without anything affecting me. what's wrong with me!
as i promised i relink Vivi.:D
