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it's hard, to breathe in the circle, that i did not understand what they are not trying to tell me. it's really hard, to watch my every move, my every action that i planned it myself, but all i get was a downpour of insensitive remarks, that i tried my hardest to ignore it, push it away, telling myself that i shall pretend that everything has not happened. this is getting way too tough, i felt that i was bullied,( that is probably bullshit for you) i felt the unwelcome emotional stress i was having. i really really hate this, why can't everything or everybody just let me off, reducing the insensitive remarks, just let me be myself instead of watching my every move, telling myself that or this all the time, every single minute, just to avoid people's negative remarks. now i am feeling light headed, i feel nauseous. it's hard to breathe in the circle i have know for only two months in a circle that they have know for years. i just wanna wash my hands out of this for once, running away seems to solve the problem. it's damn fucking hard to breathe in the last circle i have been for two years straight, i just wanna see people laugh not really with me but just plainly see them laugh, i do not need to laugh, i do not need a best friend, i just need me alone to dsee the world laugh, and not telling me insensitive remarks and swears. Forget it , what is the use if they know, they probably just treat me the same way, i am nobody, this is way fucking hard.
